Keeping one little memory
Wrapped up in a sweet bundle
As the nights roll by
In unspeakable loneliness
When time freezes
Across the windy plains I hope
And cry to the sight of the flames around my heart
To the smell of the ashes in my dreams
And the reality I feel nevertheless
When I wake it is never daytime
And the tears, they are never fake
As I long for my feelings to take form
And come in the shape of you
And it pains me to know it can't happen
It makes me sick to realize I feel that envy
Towards another person for having charmed you away
To even say "charmed" when perhaps
She is your key to happiness
For these reasons and more I cast fire upon my heart
And I cry for the pain to go away
Always aware that perhaps I
Am simply not enough
I say it not to be negative
I say it not to have pity taken upon me
But simply because I realize my faults
And my difference that perhaps one would not want
But I see hope in that fact
Something I never realized I could
As I continuously set my heart aflame
My own little sanctuary beyond my pain
And my garden where my heart can feel peace
To know that these feelings are real
And they keep my heart strong
Let him find his happiness
That is what I dream of eternally
I believe I've said that to myself
As I lay in my bed with my dreams
Thinking of my garden across the flames
And how much I wish to feel those feelings again
As I close my eyes to the never ending night
To feel the torture
And the peace that accompanies that torture
And how I realize my heart will only be stronger
As I lay in my loneliness
For a time when perhaps
My feelings will take form at last...